top of page

Jealous of Your Girlfriend's Past Hookups? You're Not Alone.

It's a feeling that many men may not want to admit, but it's a common one: being jealous of your girlfriend's past hookups. In fact, statistics show that jealousy is more common with young adults than with older generations! Whether it's comparing yourself to her previous partners or feeling insecure about her sexual history, this type of jealousy can be difficult to deal with. But rest assured, you are not alone in this struggle. Many men experience similar feelings of jealousy and it's important to address them in a healthy way. In this blog post, we'll discuss how men can manage their jealousy and the resources available for support, such as therapy for men in Denver at the Men's Mental Wellness Center.

Recognizing the Signs of Jealousy: Are you actually jealous?

Jealousy is a complex emotion that can manifest in different ways. It's important to recognize the signs of jealousy in order to address and manage it effectively. So, are you actually jealous of your girlfriend's past hookups? Let's take a closer look.


One common sign of jealousy is comparing yourself to your girlfriend's previous partners. If you find yourself constantly thinking about how you measure up to them or feeling inadequate because of their perceived qualities, it could be a sign of jealousy. Additionally, feeling insecure about your girlfriend's sexual history and constantly questioning her fidelity can also be indicators of jealousy.

Physical and emotional reactions can also reveal feelings of jealousy. For example, you may experience a tightness in your chest, increased heart rate, or even feelings of anger or resentment when thinking about your girlfriend's past. These emotional and physical responses can be signals that you are struggling with jealousy.

Another sign to look out for is the desire to control or possess your girlfriend. If you find yourself wanting to restrict her interactions with other people, constantly checking her phone or social media, or feeling possessive of her time and attention, it may be a sign that jealousy is present.

Recognizing these signs of jealousy is the first step towards managing and addressing it. Remember, it's normal to feel a tinge of jealousy from time to time, but it's important to address these feelings in a healthy and constructive way. In the following sections, we'll explore strategies for managing jealousy and finding support in your journey towards emotional well-being.

Managing Jealousy: Taking control through communication

Jealousy can often lead to a breakdown in communication within a relationship. It's important to take control of your emotions and address your jealousy through open and honest communication with your girlfriend. Start by having a calm and non-confrontational conversation about your feelings. Express your concerns and fears without placing blame or attacking your partner. It's important to create a safe space for both of you to openly share your emotions and perspectives. We recognize that for young adults in particular, this can be difficult! Practice makes perfect with communication so give it a shot and ask your partner for feedback in the process.

Practice active listening skills when listening to your girlfriend's response and try to understand her point of view. Remember, everyone has a past, and it's important to acknowledge and respect that. Allow her to express her own insecurities or concerns if she has any, and work together to find ways to alleviate those concerns.

Establishing boundaries can also be helpful in managing jealousy. Talk about what you both consider appropriate behavior in the relationship and agree on guidelines that make you both feel comfortable and secure. This can include discussing what is and isn't acceptable when it comes to communication with ex-partners or setting boundaries around social interactions.


Remember, communication is a two-way street, so be open to feedback and willing to compromise. Building trust and maintaining open lines of communication is crucial in managing jealousy and strengthening your relationship. By addressing your feelings through communication, you can work towards a healthier, more secure connection with your girlfriend.

How Self Reflection Can Help You Manage Jealousy

Self reflection is a powerful tool when it comes to managing jealousy. By taking the time to explore your own thoughts and emotions, you can gain a better understanding of the underlying causes of your jealousy and develop strategies to overcome it.

Start by asking yourself some tough questions. What is it about your girlfriend's past hookups that triggers your jealousy? Is it a fear of not being good enough? Insecurity about your own sexual prowess? Once you identify the root cause, you can begin to address it head-on.

Consider keeping a journal to track your thoughts and feelings. Write down specific instances or triggers that cause your jealousy to flare up. This can help you identify patterns and gain insights into your own thought processes. It's important to be honest with yourself and not judge your own emotions. Remember, jealousy is a natural human emotion, but it's how we choose to respond to it that matters.

Engage in self-care activities that help boost your self-esteem. Focus on your own personal growth and development. Find hobbies or interests that bring you joy and fulfillment. Building a strong sense of self can help diminish feelings of jealousy and insecurity.

Seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can also be beneficial. Talking through your feelings with someone you trust can provide valuable perspective and help you gain a fresh outlook on the situation. Additionally, a therapist specializing in men's mental health can provide tools and techniques specifically tailored to managing jealousy.

Remember, self-reflection is a continuous process. It takes time and effort to overcome jealousy, but with self-awareness and a commitment to personal growth, you can find ways to manage and overcome these feelings.

Therapy at Denver's Men's Mental Wellness Center for Jealousy

At the Men's Mental Wellness Center in Denver, we understand that managing jealousy can be a challenging task. That's why we offer specialized therapy for men who are struggling with jealousy and other emotional issues. Our team of experienced therapists is dedicated to providing a safe and supportive environment where men can explore their feelings of jealousy and learn effective strategies to manage them.

In therapy, we work closely with our clients to identify the root causes of their jealousy and develop personalized treatment plans. Our therapists use evidence-based techniques to help men develop healthy coping mechanisms and improve their emotional well-being. We believe that by addressing the underlying issues contributing to jealousy, men can experience greater self-confidence and build stronger, more secure relationships.

At the Men's Mental Wellness Center, we prioritize the unique needs of men in therapy. We recognize that societal pressures and gender expectations can impact how men experience and express emotions, including jealousy. Our therapists are trained to provide culturally competent care and create a judgment-free space where men can openly discuss their feelings and concerns.

If you're struggling with jealousy and looking for support, consider therapy at the Men's Mental Wellness Center. Our compassionate therapists are here to help you navigate your emotions, develop healthier relationship patterns, and find greater emotional fulfillment. Don't let jealousy hold you back from experiencing the love and happiness you deserve. Take the first step towards a more fulfilling life by reaching out to our team today.

Final Thoughts on Dealing with Jealousy: How to Work on Jealousy Today

Jealousy is a complex emotion that can take a toll on your well-being and your relationship. But remember, you have the power to overcome it. Here are some final thoughts on dealing with jealousy and how you can start working on it today.

First and foremost, be patient with yourself. Overcoming jealousy is a process that takes time and effort. Don't beat yourself up for feeling jealous, but rather focus on understanding and addressing the underlying causes of your jealousy. Remember, you are not defined by your girlfriend's past, and your worth does not depend on how you compare to her previous partners.

Next, practice self-compassion. Be kind to yourself as you navigate through your emotions. It's normal to feel a little jealous from time to time, but it's important not to let it consume you. Give yourself permission to feel and acknowledge your jealousy, but also remind yourself that these feelings do not define you. Treat yourself with love and respect as you work through your jealousy.

Find healthy outlets for your emotions, whether it's through exercise, meditation, or pursuing your passions. Taking care of your mental and physical well-being can help boost your self-esteem and confidence, ultimately diminishing feelings of jealousy.

Lastly, seek professional help if needed. Therapy can be an invaluable resource for addressing and managing jealousy. A therapist specializing in men's mental health can provide you with the tools and techniques necessary to navigate your emotions and build healthier relationship patterns. Don't hesitate to reach out for support if you feel overwhelmed or stuck in your journey towards overcoming jealousy.

Remember, you are not alone in dealing with jealousy. By recognizing the signs, practicing effective communication, engaging in self-reflection, and seeking support when needed, you can work towards a healthier, happier, and more secure relationship with yourself and your partner. You have the power to overcome jealousy and create a fulfilling life filled with love and happiness. Start working on it today.


bottom of page